The Things We Have Done …

I live in a bubble. A magical fairy world where my children slumber on soft mattresses, books stowed under their pillows, Bach softly playing in the background. They are physically intact, and mentally capable. They are healthy, clean, and warm. My world is a picture postcard where my stress is relieved by securing child care so I can continue my part time job of playing music. In my world, though worrying about going over budget by buying gas, my pantry is full, my water is clean, and the central air is heavenly.
Tonight, I had the audacity to complain about “fairness”. With tears of frustration, I barely restrained myself from throwing my smart phone across the kitchen table. Then I ate a piece of chocolate and started practicing for tomorrow’s gig. We’re reviving “All Along the Watchtower”, so I was working on that when I stumbled across a YouTube video with footage of the Vietnam War behind Hendrix’s famous recording. A link to the side promised a history of the Vietnam War in 4 easy installments. A few clicks and I’m researching Agent Orange, and Human Experimentation, and birth defects and mutations, and dioxin, and Monsanto, and dioxin again. The babies in jars – pickled specimens of human sadism – nearly made me vomit. The deformed children languishing in orphanages and hospitals ripped my heart out. I mentally shelved it in a jar next to the infants so I could keep reading.
I will never be the same for the things I’ve read tonight; and I now understand why every single Vet I’ve met who had served in Vietnam refuses to speak of it, and why a dark shadow falls over them when I’ve asked.
Tonight, I thank God for my fairy tale life, and my perfect family. Tomorrow I will hug my children until they beg me to stop.
Also, I will continue to buy organic with renewed conviction.
My God, the things we have done …

Powerless

I am reading Moby Dick by a string of battery operated Christmas lights to the incredibly loud roar of the next door neighbor’s generator. Or, I was, before I paused to write this. It’s funny; we first lost power during a derecho a few nights ago, and I remember thinking, (after the initial “uh-oh. No power and 100 degrees in the forecast”), “this is kinda cool reading like this in the middle of such an incredible storm.” It was fantastic: hail, rain, wind gusts and lightning like a firework finale. Two nights ago, the power going out (after having been restored for a glorious 24 hours) somehow triggered the intruder alarm in the process. That made our hearts jump out of our chests. Then the heat set in. All of a sudden blackouts got a whole lot less romantic. Still, I am enjoying reading Moby Dick by Christmas light.
It also doesn’t hurt that our next door neighbor – the one with the incredibly loud generator – bought said generator with the intention of sharing; and through this generosity I am enjoying a lovely breeze from a fan that he also brought over for us. He actually brought over two, so everyone here could sleep with a fan in their room.

We really and truly got lucky in the neighbor department. Joe and Marty are always quick to lend a hand. Joe himself is quite a character – one of the few WWII vets that I know still enjoying life to its fullest. His son, Marty, though raised Catholic, converted to become a Jehovah’s Witness. Despite their reputation for banging on doors, and attempting to “preach the word” at every turn, Marty has never spoken of his faith unless asked. Instead, he lives life as others might preach it: always says hi with a smile, the first to lend a helping hand (even when inconvenient), thinks of others, and treats others the way he would like to be treated. He even offered to turn the generator off at intervals if the kids had a hard time sleeping through the night with the noise – and at nap time as well. Actually, fortunately for us, it seems that coupled with the fans, the roar is serving as white noise for YumYums. Last night was the first night he slept past 7am! I guess all he needed was an extremely loud constant roar – or it’s heat exhaustion. But I’m hoping for theory number 1.
Speaking of sleep, I’d better get to it!