I am not perfect. Never has this fact become more clear to more people than it has this month. It could have been worse, I suppose, and yet … well, see for yourself:
1. I didn’t invite a handful of people to “The Noodle’s” birthday party, who probably should have been invited.
2. I have also allowed myself to be offended and affected by another person’s bleak and bitter opinion of a Christmas card. (I really want to write more about this, but will spare you tonight… perhaps another day…)
3. And to top it all off, I somehow have managed to (unintentionally) exclude one of the people that mean the most – on Christmas day (of all times). Also, I still have not finished (and therefore not sent out) our family’s Christmas cards.
This is but a small sampling of my failings this year, but I think you get the point. Now, in my defense, I have been running myself ragged all month, and until yesterday, have not been getting to bed until sometime after midnight. I managed to single-handedly organize 2 birthday parties for “the Noodle” (one for his classmates & one for our family), do all the holiday baking to give to the neighbors, friends, family, help with “The Noodle’s” school Christmas party, accomplish all of the Christmas, Channukah and birthday decorating, do all of the gift shopping for our collective family and friends (and do all the wrapping), figure out how to work “the Noodle’s” birthday, Holiday parties, Channukah, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (we’re a mixed family, so we do both), got part 1 of a root canal, and still got the normal day to day tasks taken care of (rehearsals, gig, lessons, laundry, meals, etc) – even if it did mean that the kids watched too much television. Small consolation, I am sure to the person I love who spent Christmas day by herself. The thing is that this person is Jewish, and I thought, only kinda celebrated Christmas because I celebrated it. Little did I know that it was her favorite holiday. I feel terrible. All I really needed to do was make a couple of extra phone calls – or make a decision and just tell everyone what was happening (that this person was going to come to my parents’ house on Christmas)… but that still required phone calls, which I only found myself remembering I needed to make after 11pm each night, which was too late for everyone. Really, it all boils down to the fact that I simply wasn’t organized enough… or that I need an assistant… or that root canals & changes of dentists should only be attempted after the holidays… take your pick.
I guess my one saving grace is that I really was just trying to make everyone happy (probably too hard, and too many people), and I do have the best of intentions. But, as some of you may remember, my dad always says “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. I guess that ol’ devil is putting in another mile marker right about now.
(Ok, I was going to leave it like this, but I just can’t. I have to leave tonight on a brighter note: it’s part of my psychosis. The bright side to this holiday season was that the “Noodle” only fully appreciated the magic and wonder of Santa Claus this year & it added such a beautiful innocence to the season. I have more to write on that too, but am so tired, I may fall asleep on the keyboard. Anyway, “Merry Christmas to all (who celebrate it – see line item #2), and to all a good night”. )