Yesterday, my husband & I celebrated 7 years of marriage. We had a really lovely, laid-back evening. Jeff came home with roses, and while I heated up some chicken nuggets, spiral mac & cheese, and broccoli for the kids, he read the card I made him, then we ordered truly decadent carry-out. The kids ate while Jeff picked up our dinner, and when he got home, we put on “The Backyardigans” for the Muffin & Noodle in the hopes that it would keep them entranced for a full 20 minutes while we ate. I should have figured that “the Muffin” would foil our efforts. So, while I ate, she tried feeding me every other bite and decided she needed to climb up & down off my chair (with me on it) until I was finished. Still, it was nice. The evening was actually a good representation of our marriage. Comfortable, laid-back, kind, welcoming. We shared two dishes – he picked one that he thought I’d like, and I picked one I thought he’d like. But the truly warming aspect of this is that I think it was subconscious. I found myself choosing something that I’d never usually pick (garlic noodles – you know it’s love if you later don’t mind the garlicky dinner), and he chose the Thai noodle. It wasn’t until today that I realized what had happened there, and I think it is why our life together is so wonderful and easy. We think about each other without even realizing we’ve done so. The act of putting ourselves in each other’s shoes has become second nature. If we are doing it intentionally, it’s never a bother and always uncomplicated.
Many people talk about how marriage is all about compromise – and maybe it is – but I don’t think it should feel that way. (It certainly doesn’t to me.) Of course, no one is perfect, so I’m sure there are things that I do that aggravate my beautiful husband to no end; and there are things, too, that sometimes make me growl – but these things so rarely ever bother me, that they really are no issue. If there is a day that I’m growling, it’s usually has more to do with my own “malfunctions” than anything else – and I know it.
I realize I’m very lucky to have found the man I married seven years ago. I truly have been living with my greatest friend and ally… or partner in crime, depending on how you look at it… which reminds me: it’s time to help him lock up & turn in.